Saturday, November 07, 2009

Feel at the top of the game again! Boss showed an unequivocal interest which was a much needed boost. Today was a day of ideas! Experimental designs, models, experiments done in the past, what can one learn from them, the ideas buzzing in the head for years that never materialized, can one do them now, so on and so forth.

It felt so awesome just to lay back and soak myself in this intense, almost passionate pool of thoughts and ideas. I started here 5 years back, absolutely dreading the Saturday lab meets. The challenge to think beyond one's capacities, to redefine the boundaries which are mostly set by our own selves was a difficult and daunting task. I used to feel worse than a toddler learning to take first steps. It soon changed to boredom and that phase where disinterest creeps in coz you are looking at things singly and not looking at the bigger picture. Over time, especially after I started my own work, changed into interest that came with knowledge. Why things are the way they are, the history behind things you are doing and the possible future course you are laying for your successors. Finally, today, Saturday lab meets are one of those few things I'm desperately waiting for throughout the week. It's an intellectual getaway. Throughout the banal existence of the week when I'm mostly doing things I’m supposed to do, on Saturdays I feel like a free bird, soaring in the sky, or diving toward the earth whichever the case maybe, but free. That itself feels like at the top of the world. This is why I do what I do...Research...It makes my heart race. If I come up with something good, it makes worth the whole week’s dawg work, I feel euphoric...Even if someone else comes up with something great, it feel great, coz there’s a feeling that it has come from the home ground, someone who belongs to the same place as you. To think is the mantra in any case. I love to think, and research gives me that opportunity. The best part is (which has come through training one’s mind very hard), one doesn’t even do it consciously. I’m so bloody happppy to be in the middle of all this. The effort to create some meaning out of unknowns, to give way to light and to banish the darkness, to see and think about patterns that never seemingly existed, and then prove that indeed they were there just shrouded by the veils of obscurity. It gives me a high.